My School

The question is raised (in my own mind) as I walk into the school and meet the pupils for the first time; who is more afraid?  Seeing as they can smell fear, I cast it aside and talk to those who are willing.  Luckily my mentor is possibly the most popular person on the island so the children immediately skip past me and dive onto the huddle forming around the other teacher.

The school is pretty much perfect.  The staff seem friendly to a fault, and it's all kosher.  It's all a little too good to be true, and frankly speaking, I'm expecting a giant boot to fall from the sky - heralding the beginning of a monty python sketch involving something along the lines of: Destroying a mans' dreams.

I'm now petrified of making a terrible teacher and letting everyone down.  One hurdle evaded in the form of surviving the trip, the next is to become a teacher.

My Room

Here are some pictures of my room, as taken with the little webcam built into my little computer:

This is the right-most looking picture, from my bed.  I deliberately included lots of wall, so that you get an idea of the size of the room (I was originally going to stitch a group of pictures together, but that was going to be too much effort...)

My little kitchen area.  Behind the frontmost wall is a little wetroom.  Behind the bed is a utility room with washing  machine and whatnot.

And directly to the left of my bed is the tv, sans HDMI port.  I've not bothered turning it on yet.

And that's my room.  Overall it's somewhat bigger than I was expecting, and despite lacking character, it's clean and comfortable, bonus!

First Impressions are Always Fun, so Let's Write Some!

So first off, Goeje is huge. No matter what it may look like on a map, and no matter how small the population, traversing this island takes a substantial effort. I've no idea how long it took to reach this place once we were on-board, but it's not a journey to be undertaken on a bicycle!

Unfortunately the couple who bought me here did not speak any English, and I can't speak any Korean, so the journey was mostly silent. What with the language barrier and my insistent drowsiness, very little communication happened. I would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologise to the two who bought me over to the island for being incredibly boring, and I am grateful that you took your own night off to do so. And as a side-note, the woman driving should definitely pursue a career as a racing driver.

On a tangent, the landscape here is unbelievable. It's absolutely fantastic. Flying overhead on the internal connecting flight, I saw the towns and cities perched on hillsides lit up in neon. Obviously I couldn't see the hills themselves, they were merely silhouettes on the skyscape, but the combination of mountaineering skyscrapers (I don't know what classifies a building as being such, but these are pretty damned tall) and hilltop of complete darkness (presumably because they're too difficult to build upon) makes for a completely unique view. I had theorised, prior to visiting, that Japan and Korea might suffer from similar land space issues, mainly that the land is primarily mountainous and therefore difficult to build on; it seems this is definitely the case, although the problem appears somewhat less pronounced than in Japan. From a classically minded perspective the urban sprawl isn't particularly eye-pleasing, but the endeavour with which they've built is fantastic.

The flat is surprisingly clean, if unspectacular. The only downside is that the TV doesn't have an HDMI connection, gutted! I'll go out and get an adapter later, or if I can't find a shop I'll use the internet. As of writing this I have no idea what the internet is like, because I'm not connected yet. Just storing a few diary-esque thoughts until I do get hooked up.

Everyone seems pretty nice, and two even stayed up specially to greet me last night, despite it being around 1AM; which was a nice touch.

I'm going to have a mosey around later and hopefully pick up some supplied from the local supermarket. That is, if I can find the local supermarket...

Let's fall asleep!

So I've no idea what time it is. I'm literally clueless on that front, and on the front of where exactly I am. I might be in Dubai, or I might be in the centre of Holland, I don't really know. I am looking around for Korean looking people, and Korean sounding people, but I can't seem to find any. Normally this would trigger alarm bells in my mind, but in this instance, as I'm flying on Emirates airlines from Dubai, I won't run around screaming; yet. As portals into the (un)known go, this airport is rather vulgar. I know they're only building on desert that has none of the usual environmental costs associated with, say, Runway 5 greenbelt – but the whole endeavour is something of an exercise is vulgarity. The shopping area is the size of Heathrow terminal 3 in its' entirety, the check in areas have more x-ray conveyor belts than the whole of Heathrow terminals 1, 2, 3, 4 and 5; and the people are completely humourless.

This is the american dream! Oh wait, wrong continent. Well the idea lives on, and is as strong and vibrant as ever.

On a lighter note (sic) the A380 is a marvel of modern engineering. The wing width is fifteen rows of seats, the dangle of which means you can't see the anti-air-disruption fins at the end of the wing. You know, the raised plates bolted onto the ends of the wing to reduce drag and increase efficiency. Well you can't see them when you're on the ground because the wings droop too much.

When you're in-flight, and the wings have resumed a position of relative normality, the wing has ripples in it, akin to a calm ocean, where certain areas are reinforced and others sag. Needless to say the whole experience is rather disconcerting, as are the myriad noises the plane emits while flying. I'm unsure whether the noises are due to my proximity to the various gears (due to being completely and entitrely encompassed in cattle class) or whether everyone can hear the noises. The various bumps and grinds do lend the craft an intangible mechanical feel however, and I'm rather fond of the mechanical in general.

It holds six hundred people, (both decks are identical in size, but the top deck houses rich people, with extremely long legs and even longer budgets) and roughly fifty screaming children. I think the children come as part of the plane, an optional extra along with the alloy wheels and booming sound system.

Let's Racially Profile!

Let's Racially Profile!

Having walked through into the departure lounge attached to the plane I'm soon to travel in, I was subjected to numerous security checks. Primarily including two ticket checks, along with two passport checks, some people are subjected to an extraneous passport check and extra quizzing. The questions asked were of the banal police type; do you have a job? Where are you flying to? Do you have any money with you? Are you planning to blow this plane up?

Of course I escaped the extra questions, being tall, white and boring looking. The police officers obviously didn't understand the memo regarding the racial profiling however, as they just asked two Asian couples whether they were terrorists. Plainly this is madness, as Oriental Asians aren't terrorists, only those in the Middle East are. The whole thing is stupid, racist and defunct, now that anyone of any race can be born in any country, have any religious view and grow their beard to any length. Why bother with this nonsense? It doesn't make me feel any safer, and I'm damn well sure it won't put-off any potential miscreants.

The bullish police officer would be much better served walking the beat in London, preventing and solving actual crime – instead of terrorising those of us who are leaving the country.

The whole thing is a stupid waste of money.

False Start

So I was scheduled to leave today, but my flight details were changed at the last minute.  The new schedule is sometime on Wednesday, (the flight time hasn't been confirmed yet) luckily no longer requiring a Herculean run through London via auto-mobiles and trains.  My visa has been procured, and bags are packed.

I'm not sure what to do with the extra time though.  I feel that something should be achieved with this time, but I don't know that this short amount of time will allow me to do anything productive.

I'm also a little sad that I can't fly on an A380!  Maybe my next flight will still be of that type, who knows.

Time to Run!

So I'm Korea bound on Monday.  The news is somewhat sudden, and I only found out when I was in Hull.  Unfortunately I'm only due back from Hull today, on the Sunday.

Monday is also the day I'm supposed to pick up my visa.

So I turn up at the visa office upon opening, pick up my visa, run headlong to the airport (at a guess, 50 miles away) and dive onto a plane.  This plane (which I suspect is a new Airbus A-380!) heads to Dubai, I then jump off, run onto another plane heading for Korea and swan in, as nonchalantly as is possible.  I then jump onto another plane, head down the country, roll off the final plane (because I'm now too tired to jump) and drive down to wherever my final destination is.  Not literally me driving, although I'm now qualified to do so...

And that short paragraph is how the day should proceed.  I'm far too nervous about any number of things going wrong, so I daren't commit any to paper.  However, from the above, I'm sure you could surmise any number of problems.

Just don't utter them aloud, otherwise they may well come true.

Attack of the Volcanic Entities

So as it turns out, mother Earth has gastroenteritis, and England is suffering from a freak occurrence of ash.  Like the erstwhile earthquakes inflicted upon Hull, much has been made of the catastrophic meaning of such events.  Everything from flying horsemen and impending apocalypse, to global cooling (an ironic comment, in more ways than I can list) as a result of reflected light rays etcetera.

Of course, this affects us not a jot, and despite the billions of dollars lost in revenue, the relative gain in PPM of Ozone will benefit the NHS in the long-term, as melanoma are reduced; subsequently costing less to treat.

And therein lies the problem of macro-economics - there are as many variables as people, making any attempt at predicting or modelling events futile.

As a side-note, I'm gearing up for the Korea bound move.  Having previously refused to accept the move as nothing more than speculation and idle hope, the necessary preparations have begun in earnest. (With or without my approval, ala my schooldays (Thanks mum!))  So I'm desperately trying not to get excited.  I'm failing, it must be said.

Country number fifteen, here I come!

That is, if the ashen cloud lifts.

Here's to positive thinking, eh!

Oh, and if you could all puff your cheeks and blow directly into the air, I'm sure we can hurry the cloud along.

Visa and the Process

I'm heading to the Korean Embassy in London on Monday in order to retrieve my visa.  I'm sure it will be painless and smooth running, just as all my other paperwork gathering exercises have been...

I've started procuring items for the transition now, including attire suitable for a teacher.  This painful and laborious process must be completed in order to become a fully fledged professional (in any field), and results in a life changing alteration to self image.  Maybe.

Driving test soon too.

That is all.

Zen and the Art of Pressure Washing

So I recently had to clean a relatively large surface (astro turf) with a focused high pressure water cannon.  The beam was focused enough that agonising slivers of green were revealed during every sweep, while the ruddy mottled brown, no matter how hard you try, laughs back.

Being notoriously lazy, a plan was sought to minimise effort.  This plan involved a detailed grey matter image of the surface, contours, and eventual route; considering environmental factors and footprints.  Once the map had been set, following myriad rules such as:  Generally moving from the top of the slope to the bottom, working in three parallel blocks (each sub-divided by two further blocks), moving no more than fifty centimetres forward at a time (on each block), and moving as much detritus (for the cleaner picks up many billions of microscopic particles, congealing them into a macroscopic ooze) to the sides as possible.

These rules generally applied, but were legitimately broken if problems, considering such factors as wind direction, footprints and astro fibre density were found.

While millimetres were cleaned with every sweep, time was taken to contemplate the route - but even this only takes a finite amount of time, considering the task seemed to offer infinite opportunity for inexhaustible fun (the seasons bring further coverings of rain, sand, mud and snow.  Each sweep would appear to take five years to complete, lending the surface to continual cleaning, non-stop, all year round) I had to occupy spare grey cell computational cycles.  Therein lies the zen methodology.  Plan your pebble garden (or cleaning duty) around a simple and convenient pre-meditated (sic) plan, and follow it, being as detached as possible.  The mind goes blank, and one awakes to find the work either complete, or someone firing paintballs at him.  Either way, some amount of time has passed, and the world is a little cleaner/aesthetically pleasing.

How to Escape England: Initiation Guide

So escaping this thankless country is the prime concern of a large number of people.  Roughly half a million every two years are now leaving, up from four hundred thousand every three years.  Of course these people are the monetarily mobile, leaving only those who can't afford to leave, or who have no transferable skills.  If you're leaving for a foreign speaking country then a certain amount of 'intrepid,' must be genetically encoded in the individual, but this is normally established at birth, and is therefore unchangeable.  The other aspect, willingness to learn the new language, is determined entirely by the individual.

So as the masses flock to the shores, attempting to leave this gigantic titanic, here are my top tips for escaping.

For gaining a visa, you need a number of documents, (depending on where you go) and these take time.  My overall investment of time was promised at 3-4 weeks, maximum.  From my own experience, budget 7-8 weeks.  Government ineptitude is one of the universal laws, alongside Newtons' own.

The second aspect is money.  Every document sent to the government will cost around fifty pounds to sort; including the numerous resending and associated postal costs.  If you need five documents, then budget for ten.  Some will go missing in the post, others will be rejected, yet more will be lost in the government system.

So all it takes to leave this fine and failed land is eight weeks of your constant attention and thought, (men are single threaded processors, afterall) and five hundred pounds.

Oh and a job.

Nothing Ever Changes

The same old same old has been prevalent around these parts for a while now.  I might be heading to Korea soon, but that's not certain yet.  Maybe, maybe not.  Who knows.  Besides; until I'm there and working, I won't believe it.  Don't count your chickens, after all.

On a side-note, don't take life too seriously.

However, on a tangential trajectory to the side-note (which would place it  in line with the original, perhaps?) 'Bulletproof Monk,' is a terrible film.  Do not watch it.  It's a literal and figurative waste of your life.  Don't take life too seriously, but it's a rare film that can take itself lightly and be respectable.  This is not one of those films.

Live life by the minute everyone!

Click to Enlarge.  If you've never seen Futurama it won't work.

The Model, Lottie: On Life

I recently had the opportunity to meet Lottie Goedhart, on an ice rink.  She is an aspiring model hailing from afar.  How far you ask?  Well, let's find out...

Ok Lottie, tell us where you're from.

A small-ish city called Breda in the south of the Netherlands.

Did you only live there, before moving to Wales?

No, I also lived in Rotterdam in the Netherlands for about roughly 4 years.

Of the two, which is your favourite place?

Difficult! I like both places, Breda because it is actually my home town and just a lovely, almost picturesque city, but I like large cities that never sleep as well.  I kind of take the best of both as it's only 45 min apart.

If I were a tourist, with only a day to visit the Netherlands, which of the two would you recommend?

That really depends on what the tourist wants! If he/she is looking for art / musea etc, Rotterdam would be the place, however for shopping, nice surroundings and relaxing I would say Breda.

Ah very diplomatic!

No I worked in tourism, I always had to ask what the customer wants.

(I wonder if you are still on the Rotterdam tourist board payroll!)

Ok so now you're in Wales, how have you found it so far?

Uuuuuhm, I like the Welsh nature, it's very pretty.  Cardiff is Ok, but in all honesty maybe [it's] not classy enough, there is very little to do and I don't really get along with the Welsh community either.  It's not the place to  be for me.

So what made you choose Cardiff?

Originally I wanted to go to London, but I soon found out that was financially a little out of my reach  Other than London it was going to be any other place I could get in, and as I met my current boyfriend online, he offered to help me get into the uni where he lived, which is close to Cardiff.

What problems have you had with the Welsh community?

I think I have completely different interests than the Welsh community, also in how we spend our free time and socialise.

So it's a case of not seeing eye to eye on social activities?  Going with friends to a nightclub, is for example, something you have no interest in?

I do have an interest in going to a nightclub, however what I am used to from the netherlands is perhaps start off the night with a nice big cocktail among us girls to celebrate the start of a good night, but our main interest after that is generally dancing our cute behinds off and being silly  As where here the main interest seems to be alcohol consumption.  I also find that the music played is slightly different.

You mentioned cute behinds, what gave you the idea of becoming a model, and when did you decide to take the leap?

Hmmm... Because I am quite tall and slim, family and friends tend to keep mentioning "you should do modelling", which kind of appealed to me since I was young, but never really got confident enough or got round to actually do something about it.  When I turned 22 I realised if I ever wanted to do this I should hurry, and I literally googled "how to become a model" and took it from there .

What's been the biggest obstacle in your modelling career, thus far?

Keeping confident I think... Things like [the] cold you can easily overcome by being persistant, or having to balance a silly difficult pose that can be laughed at if you fall, but staying confident if some images don't look good in the end, or slipping out of your shoes during a catwalk I find most difficult.   It is crucial though... once you show you are nervous or worried, people will know.

Do you have any special good luck routines before you perform in a show, either for good luck or to keep calm?

Not really! For photoshoots I don't get nervous anymore by now, however on these shows I can't help it and get really nervous and excited! I just tend to act a bit silly or dance backstage to keep my mind off it! Not sure if it helps, but I am completely focussed again when I hit the catwalk, so it must be ok.

Of all the projects you've done so far, which has been your favourite?

Oh! uhm...  I have really enjoyed most projects, but catwalk wise... I suppose the most recent one, which was the fairwear 2010 in Bristol. Mainly because the looks, walk, and designs were so unique! Completely different from a "normal" catwalk, and the bonding with the other girls was really good! They were all lovelies.

Do you ever come off the stage and think, damn, I should have done something different?

Well, the difficult thing is, you can't see yourself walk... but I do think things like "AAAARRRG STUPID SHOES!!!" (when I slipped out of them while walking for example) or when going off the catwalk thinking "where are the stairs!! where are these stupid stairs!!! oh here! nearly passed them... hope nobody has seen that! "

Hahaha do you struggle to keep a straight face when these things happen?

Depends haha, I might have an inside giggle but keep a straight face, unless I am sure the audience can't see me anymore I might give a smile to the people backstage.

What's the community like backstage?  Is everyone friendly or is there still an undercurrent of competitiveness?

Well, I have only had 3 shows so far but they were all quite different... I found that the first 1, one model really didn't care if I had enough room while we passed each other on stage, it wouldn't of surprised me if she tried to push me off.  However backstage they acted like they were each other's best friends.  While at the most recent show, we were actually all helping each other, taking pictures of each other and having a laugh.  Borrowing each other's shoes etc.  Other than that, everybody working backstage is completely stressed out, which I find quite funny at times.  How can you not be... but I tend to see the funny side of these things.

Before I met you, I didn't have a clue about fashion photography, or catwalks.  Can you outline the main genres of fashion work?

Well, there are a few categories in modelling and photography, but of just the fashion industry:

Catalogue

Couture/High Fashion

Commercial/Beauty

Sometimes you can have a conceptual shoot as well for a specific product, but these are the mainstream ones.

Which areas do you specialise in?

All of those, however I only agree to catalogue to get work published or a paid fee, I enjoy the other aspects of the fashion industry more.   I also LOVE conceptual, as you really get to go all out with ones creativity.  But those are obviously more personal projects between the photographer, model, make-up artist etc.

What is the models' input during the photographic process?

That is different per shoot at the moment! If I arrange a shoot myself I have a lot of input obviously, but if I reply to a casting call, the photographer or other creative generally has a very clear idea of what they want, and I just do what they ask of me.  Then there is 1 photographer who starts with a specific idea for a shoot, but discusses every single detail with me, as we kind of keep inspiring each other with out-of-the-box ideas for all sorts of shoot themes.

You know those crazy scientist stereotypes? I suppose he is kind of like that, because he can get really excited and slightly confused! All caught up in a special idea!  

Lovely guy! 

Now I just hope he will never read this haha!

Which situation do you find yourself thriving in more?  Lots of creative input, or a more subtle reaction to a very rigid idea set down by someone else?

 Uhm.. kind of both! I love going all out on an idea with that photographer for example, but it also takes up a lot of time to organise etc.  So the creative side of it is very very rewarding and satisfying, but sometimes I'm also just needed to just adapt to someone else's idea, and just get into character.  I think if I would have to choose I would prefer a lot of creative input, but like I said, sometimes it's nice to just have a bit of a break.

Are there any stereotypes or conventions that particularly annoy you, regarding models in general?

Unlike beauty pageants, a show or shoot is not about me, I am merely a hard working clothing hanger or blank make-up canvass. High-fashion isn’t always “pretty” it is art, and as long as it catches your eye (which it obviously does when someone expresses their disliking) it has achieved its goal. Also I do NOT have an eating disorder, I eat more than my dad on a daily base and have an addiction to anything that contains sugar! Nor do I sleep with photographers, trust me... I would be more interested in their camera equipment! (And so are they by the way...)

So looking forward, do you have any plans for the future?

I have got a shoot planned here and there, but my main goal for now is to get my portfolio printed, show my book to agencies and hopefully get signed!

Thank you very much for your time Lottie, and thanks for meeting me on the ice!  (I would recommend this as an equal forum, because of the ever present threat of falling.  Layers of ice bring equality among all people) 

Check out Lotties' website here, or on the links section to the right.  It's definitely worth looking at, especially for the full-body make up shoot... I can't begin to describe it, and you wouldn't believe me even if I did!

Who Made me Fat? You Did, you Fat Cow.

Thank you for giving me something to write about, dumb blonde BBC presenter.

The first half of that sentence is the name of the programme, and the dumb blonde in questions name is... Actually I don't care.  To give her name is to validate her existence.

Anyway; she was amazed to find that more offers are placed on junk food than other foods.  This is simple economics...  The thing that makes you the most money is the thing that goes fastest through your doors, volume is the name of the game in supermarkets, as it is with most industries.  To put offers on products that sell the highest volume (and are therefore most profitable) is merely catering for an obese market.

Morrisons was the butt of this particular programme.  In a presenter like tone, an amazing 62% of Morrisons products promoted in deals are high in sugar or salt!  Literally amazing!


Actually no it isn't.  38% of their products are not unhealthy, and these are the products no one buys, and are also presumably the perishable items.  Such a large percentage of healthy foods frankly, amazes me.  By percentage of food we actually eat that should be around 5%.

I wonder if this woman writes this stuff herself.  I would have more respect for her if she were simply a politician-like puppet, strings pulled by the BHA or somesuch health organisation.

AND APPARENTLY EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR CAUSES OBESITY!  That's amazing.  And that's also a direct quote.  She was amazed to find this out.  All I can say is this:

Jesus Christ.

Yeah she's moderately attractive, but still, she couldn't hold a conversation with a five year old.  To quote another fantastic and mentally stimulating televisual series, 'snog, marry or avoid,' she is a definite 'snog.'

She's goddamned stupid.

Jesus.

Seriously.

Oh and she is a normal sized person, blaming all of lifes problems on someone else, getting people to lobby against food giants, because all human beings are incapable of looking after themselves.

And I'm going to end with a direct quote: 'oh no, it appears the public health minister is leaving the responsibility of our diets in our hands.'

OH NO I CANNOT HANDLE THE PRESSURE, THE STRESS.  When I get stressed I usually eat junk foo... Shit.  I'm going to die of obesity.  Why doesn't the government make only healthy foods available for purchase.  Oh, and while you're at it, I want a government sponsored person to cut up my food... Oh wait, while they're there they can feed me too.  Brilliant.  Problem solved.

Bye bye.

Poor Referee Decisions!

The Koreans have just been robbed of a medal by Asian arch-nemeses the chinese.

However, it's really late and I'm tired so I'll write about it tomorrow; this will remind to write about it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
So in discussion I couldn't quite articulate what it was that made long track superior to short track, but the above event showed me what it was.  The long track is decided by the competitors in one way or another, whereas the short track is always dominated by the referee.

A certain Mr. Kramer won the 10km long track by around five seconds, but was denied the gold by the referee because he went into the wrong lane.  Now this might at first seem to undermine my position, however, the referee is simply following the rules as laid down by the sports governing body, and Mr. Kramer (the world record holder in one distance, and favourite to win three gold medals across the games (he only managed one)) spends his entire life training and participating in events such as this.  If he cannot follow the rules after countless thousands of hours of training, and they aren't ingrained in his very core being, then I have little sympathy for his cause.  It is also the case that the penalty was entirely self-inflicted, no other human being made him do what he did.

Short track in entirely different however, as skaters are always jostling for position and making contact.  It is therefore up to the judges interpretation of rules.  The skaters can control their own destinies insofar as their route around the track, but should another skater run into them and take them both out, that is beyond their control.

The team skate is a perfect example of this.  The chinese skater deliberately skated into the Korean skater in order to get the Korean disqualified.  The Korean skater didn't move to interrupt the chinese line, and didn't impede the chinese skater in any way; but the chinese skater lost out because of her own exuberance and so the referee penalised the Koreans.  This kind of ridiculous decision is what spoils short track, and it happens more often than you might expect.

Just as footballers dive headfirst at every point of contact in order to gain a penalty, short track skaters make big overblown gestures to intimate their innocence, and worse than doing it in the first place is getting away with it.  The chinese cheated and won, and my respect for short-track drops again.

One Hundred and One

More as a testament to perseverance than interest, this post reaches past the century... Something England cricketers often struggle to do!

Tomorrow is my fifth driving lesson; I've no idea what's going to happen.  Hopefully I won't crash.  That's something to aim for I guess.

No matter how long I search, no jobs seem to appear.  Just got to keep looking I guess.

I've been watching a lot of the Winter Olympics.  Speed skating, short and long track are my favourites, with some great cross-country and biathlon races too.  I don't really understand any of it, but it's interesting to watch. Especially things like the ski cross and downhill where people are always on the edge of ability.

And finally:

Another Hubble image.

Free Speech

One hundred blog posts are to be topped off with a 'free speech,' cherry.  This is to include a meaningless post, and a completely crazy rant.

Apparently this particular entry into the internet void has been around for at least six years; although this is the first I've heard of it. (See the previous 'it' for the link!)  This isn't so much a website as a random collection of words that are burdened with a ten thousand dollar reward for disproving it.  Once you see the website however, you'll come to realise his reward may as well be a billion dollars, because sentences that don't make sense can't be questioned or supported.  In which case I offer a billion pounds for anyone who can disprove my theory of life, (along the lines of the previous link) 'potatoes sporadic compromise land fly quick land.'

Driving lesson number four (or five, or six, I can't remember how many now) I've done a few 'turns-in-the-road,' or whatever it is they're called...  A lot of driving around.  A couple of stalls so far.  Not much else to report really.

This small cheese related mathematical theorem made me laugh.

It's also useful for understanding what programmers mean when they talk about tessellation of triangles in graphic design and three-dimensional modelling!  Useful stuff!













That's about all I can think to write about now.  Bye bye.

The hubble telescope doing what it does best, and what it appears only to do...

Driving Lessons

I've started taking driving lessons.  After a prolonged period of inactivity on this front I've managed to twist the arm of the involved parties, and have commenced learning how to drive.  I have stalled the car once so far, and tried changing into the wrong gear once as well.  It's not as complicated as flying a helicopter, but there are significantly more obstacles.  I guess that kind of evens itself out then...

I'm sure there are other things to report...  Wait no, there aren't.

That is all.

Oh!  Happy chinese New Year!

And here's a random nebula.  Orions belt; just below it in fact.

Recently posted on wired; I'm sure I'm breaking copyright infringement...  Oh well.

Pretty right?  Click for a full-sized view of the image.

Kim Jong-Il's Comedy Club

Obviously a contradictory title; with a view to incite the positive associations of a comedy club and juxtapose those feelings with the negative associations we have of North Korea.

The short film is essentially about three men, travelling to North Korea in order to perform a skit for the Korean people.  They're comedians, and intend to perform something that's famous in Denmark; or more accurately, a number of disjointed skits they pass as a show.

The film is therefore about these individuals putting on a show; more than about the show itself.

As per usual I have many criticisms about the film; ranging from the integrity of portrayals, especially of their personal consort (a ms. Pak), to the manner in which the crew have taken to the task of filming.

The portrayals are skewed because of the directors perogative, he overlays a lot of her speech with biased views, going so far as to voice her views for her.  He even makes excuses as to why she might be so bold as to cry at a communist monument.  What she says, and his interpretation, vary to such an extent that it becomes something of a mockery of the idea of documentary itself.  I'm sure the director is more intelligent than he lets on.  Flaunting documentary protocol in such a manner has an obvious purpose, and one that he comments on himself, using one of their crew as much for propogandist anti-Korean purposes, as the North Koreans want to use him themselves.

In summary it's an entirely orchestrated ruse, both attempting to fool the North Koreans, as one would expect, but also to fool the audience.  This film is as much documentary as 'the office,' might be considered to be.  It does afford an insight into a world I have literally never seen before though, and I'm amazed they pulled it off - so to speak.

You can catch it on BBC Iplayer right now.  Go Go!

The Age Old Dispute; Given an American Twist:

I won't introduce this video, other than to say it contains swearing:




Why doesn't she just find another partner like a normal person?  And, as one of the eloquent and poetic comments suggests: (paraphrased by me for your sanity) Don't touch a mans' playstation!

As a side note; it's often said that a person (regardless of gender) may have a maximum of two attributes, from a maximum pool of three.  On the internet this trinity is: Looks, Availability, Sanity.  Pick two, and you have a cross-section of humans on the internet.  I propose that most people actually have one of the above.

To apply this rule to the video above; she is attractive; soon to be available, but quite insane.

In real life I feel the trinity tends towards: Sane, Attractive and Honest.  All valuable commodities within the realm of human interaction; somewhat difficult to find grouped into a single package; despite the breadth of ones net, and the bounties of the many oceans in which we swim!

On a lighter note.  This made me laugh.  It's not just purile netspeak; think about it.  Goodnight.