So having had time to re-evaluate the workplace gathering in the cold, harsh light of day; I've decided that it didn't really surprise me. To enlighten readers, here's how the evening went:
It was a birthday gathering, to which all were invited, but by no means was a commitment required. Out of simple curtesy, it was asked that people merely confirm their presence (or otherwise). So we all arrived, except one, who was out playing basketball (having confirmed that he would be present.) So we ordered food.
At which point one person threw the food back at the chef (not literally) claiming there was beef in the chicken pasta. This was a complete crock, and embarassed the host (the birthday person) no end.
Being quite conservative the birthday-ee (the person whose birthday it was) was resigned to eating it, not wishing to offend anyone. Whatever your views on culture over here, the birthday-ee reacted this way, and the shame was evident for all to see. Whether you agree or disagree with the shame and blame culture here, you directly influence other people, so the least that's expected is to behave reasonably by their standards.
The same person went on to order a glass of water, at which point the cups were taken away, refilled and redistributed. The person then refused to drink out of the glass, because they feared it might have been used by someone else at the table. Me and the birthday-ee are now squirming at the pathetic attitude on display, and the humiliation of being sat next to such a person. I don't necessarily disagree with their eating habits, (everyone has their quirks, afterall) but their demeanour was - frankly - disgusting. And no one else batted an eyelid.
Feeling desperately embarassed and sorry for the birthday-ee, I endeavoured to keep them entertained. Whether this worked or not shall never be known, conservatism is expected in the workplace, so a curt 'thank you,' could be for saving the life of your child, or for handing over a piece of paper.
I'm struggling to find a lesson in this. I guess firstly; the people you work with will never be any more than colleagues, so expecting anything of them in the way of friendship or personal interaction is asking for trouble. Affectation, rather than affection.
Then again... That's bleak. Maybe it should be a slightly more complicated: Colleagues are, at best, unreliable friends.
Yeah, that works.
I just hope the birthday-ee hasn't lost all faith in humanity. Hopefully only in americans.
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