Time for Change

Immediately after the France game, I was calling for the head coach to be beheaded.

After a few days of thinking, I have changed my mind.  I believe the scrummaging coach, defensive coach, attacking coach, kicking coach and coaches coach should bite the bullet, or rather, be made to eat the bullet by Jonno himself.

For some unfathomable reason, we gave the French a sniff in the first five minutes.  We let them get their noses ahead, and we couldn't reply.  We took the touchline instead of a possible 3 points, and we let France believe.  This was never a game going to be won by English flair, because let's face it, the French invented the word.  But we couldn't go into the game thinking we could grind out a win either.  Grinding wins are hard-fought, well defended and fraught.

You don't go into a match attempting to play that kind of rugby, it just happens.  If you go in with that mindset, you lose.  Just as we saw against Argentina and Scotland, going in with the intention of playing close, tight-knit rugby will net you a needlessly close result.  When you couple that mindset with a complete, total, unthinkable level of handling - the likes of which England hasn't seen since the amateur days - the fraught game won't go your way.  The whole reason you win games of the kind seen in world cups past, where one point separate both teams, is clinical finishing.  That doesn't just mean taking your opportunities, which is a pre-requisite in the modern game, it means never knocking on.  Unforced errors killed every single opportunity England had.  Every single time England were attacking, we knocked on.  Or threw a pass to no one.  Or turned the ball over.

Mark Cueto had a shocker.  He was responsible for four knock-ons alone.  Normally someone I rate, he severely let himself down.  It's a shame for such a player to suffer such an ignominious end to his career, because he's generally been underrated.

Of course, this is a game of many individuals, and I struggle to think of a string of three phases, where our ball would be called quick.  Come to think of it, I can't think of a string of three phases without an unforced error.

The referee was always going to favour France (see the previous post) but England need to wise up.  We lost entirely on penalties.  It is no longer acceptable to give away more then three penalties a game, in our own half when we're not turning points in.  This will result in nine points against us to zero, which is a deficit that can be overcome.  England did, in fact, put a number of points on the French in the second.  For the reason of repeated stupidity, the forwards coach must go.

The scrum is okay, it held for the most part.  It never looked threatening though, and for that reason the scrummaging coach needs to go.  Okay is not good enough in international rugby.

We need someone who can turn balls over, either in midfield or in the forwards.  B.O.D and the dreadlocked kiwi centre whose name I forget do this in the midfield, where teams like south africa have forwards who punch, bite and gauge their way to turnovers.  The closest we get to this at the moment is Tindall, but he is getting older, and he wasn't playing at the weekend.  Those who dislike Tindall are also the first to overlook his poaching and gain-line metres.  Maybe, in a few years, Tuilagi will have the ability to steal ball in the tackle.  That is assuming he learns how to tackle.

During the Sunday matches I spent my time counting the number of legal tackles (that is, tackles where the tackler has wrapped his arms around the player being tackled) and reached double figures part-way into the second match.  That's fine when the ref lets it go, but they don't for northern hemisphere teams.  Tuilagi is going to get sent off, along with lawes and stevens, and they won't know why.  Bye bye, defensive coach.  Please hire the Argentinian defence coach.

The kiwis are the pin-up attacking team.  They spent sixty five minutes doing nothing with all the ball while playing Argentina.  Then, in the last fifteen, they scored a boatload of points.

England need to learn from this.  New Zealand are patient.  They have the ability to wait the better part of an entire match to score.  England spread it wide, praying for the back three (one of the pockets where England is actually world-class) to do something.  It's irresponsible because, once again, this is a team game.  For those three to work, you need the rest of the team to front up and take the game to the opposition.  Run over the gain line, break tackles (even one will do!) offload, do everything England weren't doing.  England need a new attacking coach, to teach the entire team how to attack effectively.  There's no point having a game-plan consisting entirely of 'give it to the fast person on the outside.'  That's what you tell kids when they're ten, and it doesn't even work there!

I've a feeling Jonno will go, but the real culprits will be left behind, to continue without a care in the world.



In other, less important news, Jewish people are shit-stirring once again.

This is why nobody takes religion seriously.

In other, other news:  I am broke because I accidentally sent too much money back home - leaving me with fudge all.  I can't even remember when payday is, so I'm scrimping like a person has never scrimped before.

EDIT:  Check out this quite amazing video.  Turn your sound off though, as some stupid bint is in the background screaming and being needlessly dramatic.  The fact a massive amount of rock breaks in front of the camera, a one in a million event, isn't enough for the screaming woman.  Seriously.  Annoying.

The man is pretty cool though, 'I'm pleased I caught that.'  Nice.