Situation NAFU

I remembered about the military lingo website I looked at a while ago.  It had a ton of extra-linguistic direction, showing how to communicate in military sign language ala every action movie you've ever seen.

That last sentence had two red underlined words, try to guess which ones are spelled incorrectly.

Anyway, on this website (the information I gleaned ensures I can now competently hold my own in any hostage situation) there were some cool acronyms that have passed into everyday usage.  One of the relatively common ones is SNAFU.  I dearly love this word, because it could easily be a real loan word.  The usage has changed somewhat, as a snafu is a tight situation, or a sticky one if you're so inclined.  It's common enough that the red wiggly lines aren't showing up, but uncommon enough that I've never heard it in normal conversation.  It essentially means: Situation Normal, All messFed Up.

I think this conveys a mixed message; do you want reinforcements or not?  Who knows.

Anyway, my current situation is nowhere near nafu, it's probably best translated as simply SN.  Therefore, to alleviate boredom (and give me something to write about) I've been trawling the darkest, foulest depths of the internet, resulting in many BBC hits.

This links to some rioting in china.  This is something that happens dozens of times every day, so I don't know why the beeb chose to hone in on this example.  There are thousands of reports of organised protests, by the communists own admission.  This probably means the situation is far more SNAFU'd than we might expect, primarily because those damn commies never tell the truth.  Damn them.  Also damn the capitalists, who in their rush to deny every human being (except themselves) basic human rights, won't even let the poor crap in peace.  It says a lot when it's cheaper to get a man to clean out your portaloo every week, rather than pay the equivalent tax to the government.  The pipes that were laid costs a few dollars to maintain, it costs a few dollars to pay a man to flick some switches here and there, then it costs a few hundred dollars to make sure the mayor has enough cars, hookers and solid gold, ivory plated statuettes to impress the president when he video conferences.

In other communistical news, this article shows you how to create the perfect cigar.  I'm waiting for some pompous fart to point out that tobacco is a drug, and in creating this slideshow the BBC is condoning the use of heroin, crack and/or marijuana, the well known ultimate super drug.  Quick, no one point out that the ingredients are rather difficult to get a hold of, contained as they are on an island that some might call xenophobic.

I honestly didn't know that one should not inhale the smoke into ones lungs.  When I move on from cigarettes and heroin, I'll be sure to heed the advice of this article.  Of course, once I move on from heroin there is only one final destination, with a stopover at marijuana alley.

If you need a reason why religion should be banned, this is it.  Among the crimes committed by the group of punks: looking unsavoury, asking for money, uhm.  Thank christ (see what I did there?) these nutters aren't let loose in any built up area of England.  'Oi mate, got twenty pee, need some fags like.'

There are several terrible things about this story.  Firstly, the people 'fighting,' for their rights think that becoming a punk and listening to shit music is a teenagers way of acting out.

Firstly, I don't know how many thousands of years people in Jakarta have been listening to punk music, maybe it is a part of their cultural heritage, but I seriously doubt it.  It's yet another form of globalisation (yes, me teaching English, IRONY HAHAHAHAA.  Sigh.) that undermines the traditions of the country.

Secondly, punk music is garbage, why would you want to do that?  Why?

Thirdly, 'acting out,' didn't happen before the war, or even after the war, or even in the fifties.  Those hippies have got a hell of a lot to own up to.

Fourthly, Muslims aren't even an ancient and historical part of Indonesia.  They only recently decided to enact spastic, nonsense, made-up law, or as it's known elsewhere 'shariah,' law.  This boils down to, essentially, the ten people in command can punish you for any action, and because there's nothing written down, the response can be anything we want it to be.  Oh, and there are no trials.  Nice.

Fifthly, 'They are Aceh's own children - we are doing this for their own good.  Their future could be at risk.  We are re-educating them so they don't shame their parents.'  Okay, so that's obviously complete and total Orwell.  Which one is it?  Are you 'saving,' them, are you protecting their futures, or are you saving their parents.  When you have to give three crappy reasons for illegally imprisoning your own population, I feel you're starting on the moral back-foot.  Good luck to those who are being re-educated, and good luck to those making up and enacting these faux laws - I fear for your safety once these kids wake up and realise they live in a society that values you less than their mobile phones.  Imagine a country like that eh, where people are the most common (and therefore cheapest) commodity available.  They'd be downtrodden, ground into the dust.  Going to work every day, without a soul, no sense of self.  It'd like being on the tube in rush hour.

Lastly, this old article made me chuckle.  At least the religious nutters in the land of kiwis have got a sense of humour (and no sense of self-preservation apparently).