End of Year Tops

So far I've resisted the temptation to draw up a top 'X' list of what's passed; but now have succumbed due to the brainwashing power of television.  I watched a 'top 100' list of youtube videos on the gogglebox.

They got it all wrong of course, showing a few of the good videos, but misplacing importance and, therefore, numerical rankings.

So, here is my Top 'X' (the final number is subject to change.)

Although no numbers will be assigned, the last video will be the absolute, no questions asked, best youtube video of the moment.

Due to the transient nature of the youtube 'scene,' it will only be the best at the time of publishing, not a second after.  Get used to it, the internet changes quickly!

First up, we have:



Jeremy Clarkson beatbox.  'Swedemason,' secretary of the Swedish chapter of our very own freemasons, presumably, has taken a vast number of clips and soundbytes, and spliced them together with an attention to detail that screams: 'Obsessive compulsive disorder.'  However - to create something that can even be considered music, and I do consider it so, from the inane ramblings of Mr. Clarkson, is a feat of patience and genius.  Good job.

Considering this is a family-friendly top 'X' I am sticking with the cutesy videos.  In that vein, there is this:



It was a close call between the video above, and this: Link.  I chose the one above because it's a genuine youtube, and therefore internet, breakthrough; whereas I suspect the linked clip to be taken from a 'you've been framed' style show.

Another cat that does deserve a mention however is this Japanese one.  From the land of ninjas I present to you:



I think this cats' name is Daruma.  A daruma is this.  You paint one eye before the new year, and then the other on new year for good luck... Or something like that anyway.  I can't remember the dates and whatnot.

Anyway; ninja cat.  Awesome.  Enough with cats now!

This next clip isn't; it's a genre.  The genre in question is the overexploited category of 'crazy Japanese gameshows.'  Producers and writers in the West are notorious for their chronic cranial malady, and this produces a lack of creativity, inspiration, energy, drama and so on.  This leads to the pathetic televisual experience we now have.

The very few things that are worth watching, however, can be traced directly from the above genre.  And now the videos.  In order to demonstrate the genre to its' best, a few different videos are required.  Remember, this is merely the tip of the iceberg.  (I realise these clips may or may not be thought up in the land of the rising (I've genuinely no idea whether they were) but I have an affinity for that area, so let's pretend they were.  Plus the Japanese have a reputation for this kind of thing, and one must earn any reputation.)



The precursor to our own 'hole in the wall.'  No adlib dubbing from Craig Charles is necessary.

For the next clip, they're wearing binoculars...



This.  Is.  Genius.  This is, literally, wet your pants funny.  And I think everyone will agree.  It's not often you get to watch something this funny, and the whole family can watch, appreciate, and enjoy the humour in it.

In this next clip let me forewarn you:  They all run like uncoordinated fools.  And that is how the average Japanese person actually runs, I've witnessed 'the platform run,' several times!



Ok, so this next one doesn't really need introducing, but I will anyway.  Japanese gameshows have their own subgenres, such is the volume, they need subdividing and classifying.

This falls into the ever popular - 'laugh and get a forfeit, don't laugh and get cake,' sub-genre.  The forfeit is usually extremely painful, and, depending on the time the show is aired, may or may not result in groin based pain.



This next video.  Still on the Japanese gameshow theme.  Think a light-hearted version of the Johnny Knoxville classic.  Chicken or the egg?



This next clip.  Yeah...  It's brilliant, but I'm not going to introduce it; self-titling removes the need for any introduction.



It's when he arm swings straight through and only clips them.  That's got to hurt.  That's got to hurt like nothing else in the world.

The next clip demonstrates why Japan so desperately needs English teachers.



Why didn't they hit the guy who screwed up?  Oh that's right, it's ok to screw up, but don't laugh at him!

One of the many similarities between our countries:  Men dress up as women a lot on television, yet no one asks why.


Ok.  Moving further down (or up, depending on whether you live in the southern hemisphere) the list; the two chinese students, who, bored one day; mimed the backstreet boys.  They gained infamy in china, and commercial success, with adverts and sponsorship.  Considering the extremely tight communist control in that country it's amazing.  Chinese people can't even watch youtube!  It's restricted from within the mainland!  How did these guys get so famous?  Probably a youtube style ripoff hosted within the borders.  Anyway; the guy in the background is playing counterstrike, (version 1.6 (oldschool)) and was implemented to create a 'living background,' instead of just a static background.  In the outtakes, in case you can't read chinese, someone knocks on the door asking for a towel or something, one of them misses his cues, and something else happens.  I forgot what though.



They do a rendition of a popular chinese song, where the leading lady is dying from a terminal illness.  In the original video she has a nosebleed that is faithfully recreated using ketchup.  The out-takes are something else entirely for that video.

I was going to finish this today, but it's late and I want to head to bed, so I'll upload the absolute, unquestionable number one at a later date.