Aaaaand Relax

After the stress of Elon Musk trying to steal money from me, I have now calmed down.

As a tribute to the first day of a new month (now with some more money) I have decided to write a short thing about nothing in particular, just because.

I bought a gym membership, my first in many years, and boy they're expensive here.  Prior to now I just used the club gym.  The only problem is that we haven't started the season yet (this last month of vegging has been glorious) and their ground is miles away.  I value sitting at home on the sofa for the couple of hours I get free a day, so I bit the bullet and bought a month at the local golds gym.

In related news, I've carried on the writing, link here.

Regardless of the quality of the writing, I'm happy this one didn't have a title picture with some weird rascist overtones.  I'm not going to link that one.  Don't go looking for it.

I will, one day, get round to adding pictures to these things myself instead of relying on the editorial team.  That way I can add funny MS Paint style faces and whatnot.  Definitely a great idea.

In other news there is no other news, really.  It's still pretty cold.  Not cold enough for snow.

I sent out christmas presents this year which arrived in england.  They were inspected by the post office because there were dangerous looking items inside.  There weren't, so they helpfully sent the not dangerous items back to me with a sign saying WELL DONE, NOTHING IN THIS WAS DANGEROUS, FEEL FREE TO SEND IT ALL BACK TO ENGLAND AGAIN.

No one will believe the incredible lack of logic in the decision so I'll take a picture and post it up next time, but this is actually what happened, I kid you not.  I haven't actually opened it yet to check that everything is still inside, but considering how frequently half my packages have stuff stolen out of them or just do not arrive at all, I'm not holding my breath.

But this is a positive February, so it will be fine.  Most likely.

Writing and Whatnot

So I wrote something for an online publication recently.  It was about gyms in Japan and how to navigate them, should you find yourself over here.

Check it out here.

It's a way less formal thing than I normally write which is fine by me, it feels more like a blog than an advertisment or article for a newspaper - just like this!

The only problem is the picture they used for the header.  I have literally no idea where they found it, what it's supposed to show, or what it has to do with the article itself.  I don't know what the thought process on that one is really.

Feel free to check it out, leave a comment and so on.  I'm sure my next writing job with them will rely on pageviews and comments and whatnot, so it would really help if you clicked on the link, even if you don't read it!

That's all for now.  Bye!

Phew

So I've officially finished my contract for this year.  There's a long layoff until the next one starts so I'm sitting on my hands somewhat.

I would like to say that doesn't mean I'm being lazy, but it probably means exactly that.

I've applied to various jobs, although I doubt they'll get back to me (not pessimism, just raw experience) so I've been hitting the gym and awful lot.  I'm going to make a timelapse video of a gym session because I'd be interested to see how much time I actually spend working versus time spent admiring myself in the mirror.  I fear the results won't be particularly satisfying.  I'm also interested in the various ways of doing timelapse.  The primary method for photographers is to purchase an off camera trigger that will time shots, the downtime, number taken etc.  Of course I don't have one of those, so what I might try doing instead is taking a video, then editing out large numbers of frames, leaving single frames in at set intervals.  It comes with a couple of caveats.  Firstly, I don't know if my battery will last that long shooting long videos.  Secondly, the camera only supports up to 30 minutes clips.  Today I spent close to 4 hours in there, so I don't know if I can trigger the camera without moving it about and ruining continuity.  Lastly, I don't know if the card will hold all the video.  I guess we can try it out at least.

In other news, I've put up some damned stupid videos of me and my friends playing games on youtube.  The idea is to learn the adobe suite of programs (just get a basic knowledge really).  Did you know that after effects can analyse a scene, determine the 3D properties of the scene, and then let you edit the footage as if it were in 3 dimensions ala 3dsmax or autocad.  I'm just going to let that sink in for a second.

It's not flawless, but when it works it's absolutely mind blowing.  The latest video I uploaded has exactly one effect added from after effects.  The scene lasts about 25 seconds, 10 of which have this effect added (just 3D text pinned to a wall to make it look like part of the scenery, not very well).  It took 2 hours for AE to figure out the properties of the scene and another 2 for it to render, but goddamned that is amazing technology.

In the past, gaming was the route to greater technological innovation - pushing polygons onto a screen was extremely hard work.  Then consoles kind of ruined everything by standardising to the lowest common denominator and now every game has a pixel budget determined by consoles - meaning any old PC can play games at a respectable quality.

I think it's editing software of this ilk, that will one day make it to the youtubes of the world, that will once again force technology forward (in the computer realm anyway).

Anyway, I can barely type because my arms and shoulders are full of lead or iron or something heavy, so this is me SIGNING OFF.

Bye.

Sleeping

For some reason I woke up about ten times last night.  Those are the ten times I can remember, which leads me to assume that I actually woke up more (I don't often remember much that happens in the way of sleeping, dreams and whatnot).

My shoulder is still sore; as a result I've not been to the gym so far this week.  That makes it a week and a half or so which isn't too bad.  I'll hit the gym tomorrow (not literally) after a run tonight.  I assume my bizarre sleep is a result of excess energy on account of my body storing fat in anticipation of it being burned off, which it hasn't been as I've entered recovery mode all week.  My knee is still sore when it's fully bent, but aside from that I'm fine.  There's training at the weekend, with the second leg of the knockout competition the week after.  We've knocked out one of the biggest names, so why not go on and win this thing.

It's Wednesday today, so if I run tonight, then hit the gym tomorrow (rinse and repeat) I'll have a week and a half to get into shape.  Considering I couldn't go to the gym for a week before the big game (illness) it'll be interesting to see how much I weigh now.  In related news, my aim is to get into the overweight category in this BMI calculator.  I thought it would be cool to be in the obese category, but for me that would entail being 105kg's.  That's not going to happen in this lifetime.  Something I found extremely interesting was how close I am to being 'overweight.'  I was, prior to looking at this particular graph, quite far into the overweight category.  Now I'm skirting the normal line.  This can only mean one thing - figure massaging!  People in England are getting fatter, and instead of tackling the problem (like, say, america where obesity is now 33%) they've moved the goalposts.  At some stage in the near future I'm going to be normal, which means I'm going to have to shrink, or put on weight to get back into the overweight category.  Goddamn politicians.  I already eat enough, thank you very much.

I also used the height measurement of feet and inches, but the weight measurement in kg's.  Thank you very much, stupid imperial England of the past.

Telecommunicable

So the past few days I've been a little ill.  It's nothing major, but I feel it best to stay away from exercise.  As such, my new found collaboration with a rugby team up the road (coaching kids) was interrupted on Sunday.  I tried contacting the coach several times, but despite a phoneback from him (which I missed by a fraction) I was unable to relay my sickness.  What makes it more frustrating is that he's left messages for me, that I can't access because my phone is indecipherable.  Endeavour to make contact, I suppose.

I also haven't been to the gym for a week, which is unlike me. In this time I've been toying with the idea of running to the gym, as I feel general fitness is my current weakness.  The route covers a lot of road, and has a number of stops (for traffic lights etc) so it would suit my generally desired type of fitness (I always have an eye focused on rugby).

There are two problems I can foresee with this:  It takes twenty minutes by bike, when I'm burning.  By burning I mean I spend the entire time, trying to overtake cars.  I'm all over the road, swinging left and right trying to get there in as little time as possible.  When I do arrive, I generally do half an hour of upper body work before I start on the legs, because they're pretty jellified upon arrival.  Ultimately, this means a 45-50 minute run to the gym, a workout, then another 50 minute run back.  I despise running, in all shapes and forms - it's torture.  To spend the equivalent of an entire rugby match just running around; with nothing to tackle and no try line seems ludicrous.  On the flip side, there can surely be fewer things better for fitness than that.

The other problem is one of shoes.  I have a viable pair of shoes to run in right now, but they won't last a year of running like that.  At least, they won't offer any kind of protection for a year.  My knees are aching now, and I've not even tried running there yet.

I predict this cold will have flown by Friday, at which point I will attempt running to the gym.  Luckily, the two week hiatus will result in me losing at least a kilo, (as was the trend when I first arrived) so it will be slightly easier to haul myself along.  I don't know what other people experience when they go for a run, but I just feel like I'm trying to push a walrus along sandpaper that's glued to the floor.  It's like pushing an immovable weight, on a floor with an infinitely high friction coefficient.  I feel the same when I play rugby, especially when I don't have the ball or I'm not about to tackle someone - the difference is the disappearance of this burden when the time comes to act.  I guess that's the amazing effect of adrenaline.

#Edit

I'm watching a group of kids warming up to participate in P.E.  I can't remember ever warming up for P.E, except in the rare case that we actually had to do some exercise (this was rare, in the compulsory portion of my education).  What I notice, is that they completely disregard conventional Western wisdom (contradictory?) with regards to correct warmup procedure.  We're all taught not to 'bounce,' that is to say, fling a body part to the point at which it is fully extended/stretched and quickly tense that muscle to pull it back to the starting position.  This view hasn't reached Asia yet, apparently, and while fine for these kids (they're not really trying and don't care enough to injure themselves) I wonder if this is one of the reasons for relatively poor performances among Japanese athletes.  I've seen rugby teams here do the same thing, and I cringe.  I watch people in the gym do the same thing, and cringe.

Watching the chinese warm-up on the track prior to their events during the Olympics, I noticed they employed a more 'Western style,' approach to warmups.  Perhaps it is more indicative of a lack of interest in improvement, then, than one of the myriad outright causes.

#Edit 2:  So Japanese people use e-mail with their phones, not SMS.  SMS is outdated enough that you can't send one, unless the recipient is on the same network as you.  Imagine that in England, with the 50 different networks available.

Never Before Seen

So here are a few never before seen pictures that I've taken on the island.  They're all random ones taken with a colleagues phone.  Until now they've been unaccesible.

 This is from my ill-fated attempt at american football.

The particularly frustrating thing is that it wasn't ill-fated because of me; but because Koreans are Koreans, and there's no helping that.

 This is me in the gym the other day.  There's a video to go with this picture, but it's temporarily unavailable.

That's 280Kg's on the machine, in case you're wondering.

(7*20Kg weights on either side.)

 And this is on the extension phase of the above exercise.

My aim is for 300 Kg's.  By next week.

The local cake shop had this in their store.  I was a little bit too large to fit behind it, to properly fit my head inside (a small child came up afterwards and showed me that it was certainly intended for tiny people) but the effect is equally ridiculous, either way.












I love how all the Christmas stuff in that particular shop says, 'you are not alone.'

They're either fearing alien attack, or loneliness.

What a Hectic Week

So this week has been all kinds of crazy.

First off, work is a real pain at the moment.  We have to write end of year reports for all our kids.  This is a nightmare, because each child needs a custom written report; not like England, where each kid falls into one of three pre-defined categories, each with a standard form.  I've known classmates who received identical school reports, with someone else's name and date of birth.  Each comment is bespoke, and each one requires five to ten minutes.  Multiply that by eighty or so and you see how annoying this particular task is.  It would be okay if we had fewer daily and weekly tasks to complete - but I guess there is never enough time.

My finger is officially healing in the wrong direction.  It's pointing outwards, where the same finger on the other hand is pointing inwards.  I've managed to keep the actual pain of it from my manager and co-workers, so I shan't be discouraged from playing sport by them.

On the sporting side-note, I might finally have cracked the american football conundrum.  There is a training session next Wednesday, and I've been invited along with a couple of colleagues.  It's not rugby, but beggars can't be choosers.  Plus I'll finally be able to fold some chumps and work out the inner aggression I've been barricading inside.  Who knows, maybe I'll be able to lay out some of the aforementioned colleagues too!

I made a girl in my year six cry by pronouncing her name incorrectly.  I checked, it wasn't swearing, and it wasn't rude - I just said it wrong.  If she hasn't figured out that people make mistakes by the age of twelve, I fear for her growing up.  When she steps outside of the school gates for the first time, her little head will explode.

We played a little basketball on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, and again on Wednesday this week.  Basketball is fun, but there are a couple of societal rejects who play, who score fewer than I do.  This would not normally be a problem, but they whoop and yell and shout and scream as if they were gods.  Not to mention that they hit me and push me, (past the point of it being a foul) and jump on my toes; and when I run at them with the ball they call fouls that would make a footballer blush.  They're pathetic, and must have been bullied by someone who looks like me at some stage in their lives.  I have heard that one of them plays american football though, so I will go out of my way to destroy him.  If I break both of his legs, then he can't play basketball next week and I will be much happier.

We played football with a group on Wednesday.  It was good fitness, but I'm worse than hopeless at football.  I still can't see the appeal of it, if I'm honest.  I'd play any day of the week though, I was up and down the pitch like a terrier (a mentally handicapped one, but a terrier nonetheless) and as a result have surely gained .1% lunch capacity over my previous fitness.

So basically between the gym, basketball/football and work, I've had no time to even write an entry on my blog.  (I finished at 7pm today, went to the gym but wasn't really feeling up to it and came back early.)

I'm going to finally pick up an alarm that works this weekend, if I survive tomorrow, that is.

Teachers Day

So Korea has a teachers day once a year.  Like mothers day, only for teachers.  Some of the students give presents, some give little letters and things of that nature; generally thanking you for your hard work and the fifty-odd detentions you gave them last week.

I've been working for a week, and I got a coffee mug, a percolator (plunger thing to make coffee with?), some chocolates (they didn't last long) and best of all - a pair of socks.  Awesome right?  I've only been there a week and one of the students gave me socks.  I guess I have an advantage  because they don't yet know what a hard-ass I'm going to be.  They pretty much all have tests next week, so I'm glad teacher day came up this week.

Socks aside, I've had three excruciating days in a row now.  Todays morning was terrible, there were dozens of things that went wrong.  The afternoon was okay, however I didn't get out of the office until 6PM, due to lesson planning.  To put this into perspective, school starts at 8.30AM and lessons end at  2.50PM.  Three days in a row.  That's not cool.  The overtime pay is pretty much illegal too, so there's no financial incentive, only the guilt tripping kind.

The gym closes at midnight though, so I managed to get in with plenty of time to spare, which is nice.

Anyway, I'm mega-pooped, so I'm off to bed.  Goodnight.