Don't be a Prick

So here's a story from today.

It was 37-38 degC in central Tokyo, and on the way to school I saw a homeless dude drinking a half full bottle of water on the stairs.  I thought I'd be a good samaritan and go buy some water to give to him, so I headed over to the convenience store.

Inside the convenience store there is an obnoxious, balding, smelly bastard from god knows where, shouting and screaming at the cashier.  His horrible, obnoxious wife from the deep, pushes past everyone and starts shouting along with the horrible husband.

No one is doing anything, so I walk up to the guy and tell him to shut up and fuck off, because picking on a poor defenceless 50 year old woman who is just trying to do her job is what a monumental cunt would do.

Alas, the prick does not speak english, and his japanese is also dogshit.  He starts giving me middle fingers and shouting unintelligible shit - but at least it's at me and not the clerk.  So I get closer, nose to nose and utter what can only be described as the two most inane, lame and genuinely embarrassing words I think I'll ever utter: 'bring it.'  Luckily captain twatnozzle doesn't speak english, and/or realises the jig is up.

The fuckwit starts threatening to call the police, so I say 'okay,' and wait for him to call the police, at which point he starts screaming like the giant manbaby he is.  At this point the wife he dredged up from fuck knows where, dragged the slime into the street and they were gone.

I went over to the homeless guy, gave him the water and went to school.

I have never wanted someone to punch me more, just so I would have a legitimate excuse to fight back.  I would have been kicked out of Japan immediately, so it's best that the pillock didn't actually punch me, but goddamn would it have been sweet.

It doesn't matter how bad your day is, don't shout and scream at a poor defenceless store clerk.  Just don't do it.

I Came Here To Gloat, But Then I Forgot

So I started having another go at a book of cryptic crosswords today.

In the history of this medium I've managed in the order of five solutions.  Five solutions over hundreds of questions and dozens of years.  Not exactly making myself seem intelligent here.

But today I nailed one.  I intuited a question without any adjoining letters helping me.  I was on top of the world (yes, I really am that sad) and then I forgot my briefcase.

Now, before you say anything, it's not really a briefcase.  It's just an A4 wallet that happens to have a lid and a carrying handle.  It's not posh and definitely not leather bound.

What it is, however, is a recepticle for every vital piece of paper and or information that I own.  It used to hold (after today, I will ensure it no longer holds this information.  Not because having your stuff in one place is inherently bad, but this folder is now tainted with bad juju and must be replaced.) postcards for those back home, letters for the same, bank books and myriad other things that identify me.

I was uncontrollably angry with myself when I arrived home without my case.  I don't think I've ever felt the same sense of self-loathing at any other point in my life.  It doesn't help that the case also holds other personal items, stuff that represents a ton of work and other items that represent the irreplaceable personal items we all hold.  What an absolute idiot.

So today I'll go back to that place and try not to forget my own goddamned feet or something.  There will, even in safe old Japan, be some loss.  If it were England it would have disappeared never to be seen again, so at least it turned up at all.  But I'd be foolish to think there won't be any repercussions for my negligence.



Acquires vases, it's said:

Urns

In case you were wondering what the cryptic was.