Don't be a Prick

So here's a story from today.

It was 37-38 degC in central Tokyo, and on the way to school I saw a homeless dude drinking a half full bottle of water on the stairs.  I thought I'd be a good samaritan and go buy some water to give to him, so I headed over to the convenience store.

Inside the convenience store there is an obnoxious, balding, smelly bastard from god knows where, shouting and screaming at the cashier.  His horrible, obnoxious wife from the deep, pushes past everyone and starts shouting along with the horrible husband.

No one is doing anything, so I walk up to the guy and tell him to shut up and fuck off, because picking on a poor defenceless 50 year old woman who is just trying to do her job is what a monumental cunt would do.

Alas, the prick does not speak english, and his japanese is also dogshit.  He starts giving me middle fingers and shouting unintelligible shit - but at least it's at me and not the clerk.  So I get closer, nose to nose and utter what can only be described as the two most inane, lame and genuinely embarrassing words I think I'll ever utter: 'bring it.'  Luckily captain twatnozzle doesn't speak english, and/or realises the jig is up.

The fuckwit starts threatening to call the police, so I say 'okay,' and wait for him to call the police, at which point he starts screaming like the giant manbaby he is.  At this point the wife he dredged up from fuck knows where, dragged the slime into the street and they were gone.

I went over to the homeless guy, gave him the water and went to school.

I have never wanted someone to punch me more, just so I would have a legitimate excuse to fight back.  I would have been kicked out of Japan immediately, so it's best that the pillock didn't actually punch me, but goddamn would it have been sweet.

It doesn't matter how bad your day is, don't shout and scream at a poor defenceless store clerk.  Just don't do it.