So let me regail you with a short story.
This happened not long ago, in a land far away. (This land happens to begin with a k and rhymes with diarrhoea).
I was playing table tennis, when a Korean arrived. I suggested we play together, and he beat me two full sets. The first was decided, 21-19. The second 26-24 (roughly speaking; a number of extra points were played). I decided I'd had enough, so proceeded to annihilate him, 21-10. Having agreed to play five games/sets, he valiantly decided to call it a day, and left the table. He didn't say a word, put his bat back or the ball. He just left.
Asshole.
Although he won more games, I completely destroyed him mentally - and, afterall; isn't making new friends what internationalisation is all about?
(He was good at table tennis though, I'll give him that.)
(And he took about five forehand smashes to the face, so fair play to him for lasting that long.)
Showing posts with label Korean table tennis. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Korean table tennis. Show all posts
Thursday, 9 December 2010
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
Summer Holidays and Games
So I've somehow started playing an absurd amount of table tennis.
I always assumed china was the hotbed of table tennis, but Koreans quite enjoy a game or two. They all use the pen grip (I may have made that name up) just like the chinese, and the national average ability is pretty good, assuming the four Koreans I've played are indicative. One man said he started playing in the army, and based upon how good he was, I can only assume he didn't fire any guns; he was ridiculous. We played in a relatively confined space, with walls along two sides. I would knock seven bells out of the ball, with the craziest spin I could muster, and he would hit it against the wall onto my side of the table. When someone starts doing that, you know you're beaten. His service game was impenetrable, and after only three points, he realised I was not Asian, so toned his game down somewhat. He still played off the walls and ceiling though. He's the general manager of the gym, and is generally an awesome guy. He was generous with his praise, and not once did he lord his dominance over me - verbally anyway.
The ultimate aim of these games being my matchup against the landlord. He set the game up between me and a couple of other teachers last week, and I was chomping at the bit. The first game was a complete washout, in his haste to play against me I was abruptly awoken from a pleasant evening nap, my eyes were still bleary when he won. I can't remember the score, but it was (probably) humiliating. What I didn't expect was his reaction. Every point was accompanied by myriad noises from his end, ala womens tennis. Not only did he play more seriously than a professional, he wasn't quite as gracious about his victory as one might expect from the Asian tradition. His words during the match ranged from: (Exact quotes) 'Wow bad shot,' to 'wow you bery bad.'
It was on.
The second game I took the lead, he took the lead, we were tied on a number of points. It was intense. Every point I won I shouted in his face, the same way he had done to me; I think this got the point across, as he was completely silent after that.
So he was leading 20-19, match point. I served a net, so we replayed the point. Everyone was silent, the atmosphere intense. I served a humdinger, it completely threw him off. He scrambled across the table, hitting the ball with his finger. The point was over. Except he hit the net, and the ball crept over. It hit his hand, and he fluked it over the net. For the record, he fluked five points by hitting the net in the game.
So he beat me with some Korean Jam on top. His exact words after the match: 'Wow, you bad, me good.'
Mum would be proud for the restraint I showed. All the foreigners just looked at me with a combination of fear, for I might decapitate our landlord, and wonderment for not doing so.
I'm going to purchase a bat, without the extra lumpy pen grip thing, and rubber on both sides (western style) and play against him again. If I win, I will rain the foulest abuse unto his ears, and maybe, finally, at age forty, he will understand that there is such a thing as being a terrible winner.
I always assumed china was the hotbed of table tennis, but Koreans quite enjoy a game or two. They all use the pen grip (I may have made that name up) just like the chinese, and the national average ability is pretty good, assuming the four Koreans I've played are indicative. One man said he started playing in the army, and based upon how good he was, I can only assume he didn't fire any guns; he was ridiculous. We played in a relatively confined space, with walls along two sides. I would knock seven bells out of the ball, with the craziest spin I could muster, and he would hit it against the wall onto my side of the table. When someone starts doing that, you know you're beaten. His service game was impenetrable, and after only three points, he realised I was not Asian, so toned his game down somewhat. He still played off the walls and ceiling though. He's the general manager of the gym, and is generally an awesome guy. He was generous with his praise, and not once did he lord his dominance over me - verbally anyway.
The ultimate aim of these games being my matchup against the landlord. He set the game up between me and a couple of other teachers last week, and I was chomping at the bit. The first game was a complete washout, in his haste to play against me I was abruptly awoken from a pleasant evening nap, my eyes were still bleary when he won. I can't remember the score, but it was (probably) humiliating. What I didn't expect was his reaction. Every point was accompanied by myriad noises from his end, ala womens tennis. Not only did he play more seriously than a professional, he wasn't quite as gracious about his victory as one might expect from the Asian tradition. His words during the match ranged from: (Exact quotes) 'Wow bad shot,' to 'wow you bery bad.'
It was on.
The second game I took the lead, he took the lead, we were tied on a number of points. It was intense. Every point I won I shouted in his face, the same way he had done to me; I think this got the point across, as he was completely silent after that.
So he was leading 20-19, match point. I served a net, so we replayed the point. Everyone was silent, the atmosphere intense. I served a humdinger, it completely threw him off. He scrambled across the table, hitting the ball with his finger. The point was over. Except he hit the net, and the ball crept over. It hit his hand, and he fluked it over the net. For the record, he fluked five points by hitting the net in the game.
So he beat me with some Korean Jam on top. His exact words after the match: 'Wow, you bad, me good.'
Mum would be proud for the restraint I showed. All the foreigners just looked at me with a combination of fear, for I might decapitate our landlord, and wonderment for not doing so.
I'm going to purchase a bat, without the extra lumpy pen grip thing, and rubber on both sides (western style) and play against him again. If I win, I will rain the foulest abuse unto his ears, and maybe, finally, at age forty, he will understand that there is such a thing as being a terrible winner.
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