Tuesday, 1 April 2014

Happy Birthday to Me

Before you read this note that it's very late and I'm rushing to get to bed, so there will be many typing errors - many of which will never be fxed.

Okay that one was a joke.

But the rest are not.

So today is my birthday.  If you're reading this then the chances are you're family and therefore in England.  As such, it's probably still my birthday.  Or does that count?  Is timezone directly related to birthdays?  I.e. does my existing in a different one mean it happened at a different time?  Geographically and physically speaking that's an ugly idea, but I rather like the sound of timezones being actual entities that aren't simply human creations and therefore my birthday is still ongoing for you.  I may get you shit presents for Christmas but at least I've given you an extra eight hours.  But only on my birthday.  And I want those hours back when I come home, whenever that may be.

I'm writing this on the back of an envelope on the train and a mother of four just gave her eldest (8 years of age) a full can of coffee.  It's 10.30pm.  I'm not a parent but that seems silly not to mention unfortunate for whoever is living under that apartment when they get home.

I went to a training session for my new job (same company, new area).  I contemplated ending it about 50 times.  "This is a child.  Do not punch the child."  I may be exaggerating but not nearly as much as you might think I am.  It started okay, but after the nice american and patronising but amicable enough ozzie left, a loud, possible tourettes suffering yank took the floor and I spent the next 2 hours with a headache listening to 20 minute anecdotes about whatever shit took his fancy.  He was given coffee at an early age and probably has 3 brothers.  Prick.

Anyway, there were no windows so jumping out of there was out of the question.  I considered breaking a chair and beating myself to death with a chairleg.  Then I thought that I may as well beat him to death.  THEN I thought that I might get put in a cell with someone just like him in some kind of Bardic or cosmic comeuppance.  So I just sat there hating him.  I have 'training,' tomorrow and the day after so Christ knows if either of us will make it out alive.

So you're wondering why I'm on the train at what is now 11pm.  IBM training is on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays.  During the weekday it starts at 7.45 and finishes around 9.30.  It actually finishes around 10 because everyone just practices their own thing, whether that be passing or kicking or whatever.  So here I am, absolutely dreading the next couple of days of 'training,' and hoping that I can just get to sleep tonight.

I often find that I write the most when I'm feeling blue, and that's certainly the case today.

I loathe birthdays, with the very limited exception of a couple of friends and family, I find the entire ordeal entirely pointless.

I think I've used this picture before, but I have rarely felt more like the bear during any part of my life so far.  I don't know why specifically today, but I'm definitely feeling down at the moment.  The girlfriend got me a very thoughtful present and made dinner so that's cheered me up somewhat.  I'm waiting on presents from Grandad and Mum so when they arrive I'm sure I'll be able to look back on today and smile at this post - but for now I miss everyone dearly.  I even had a little weep on the train home; combining the extreme fatigue of today (training was very hard and I was borderline postal by the end of the 'training,' today) with my generally negative attitude towards events like today entirely accounts for the sadness so I guess I'll just try to not think about it.  It's times like these that I consider a stiff drink.

And that was today.  I woke up at 7.45, spent 10 minutes trying to figure out where my socks were.  I spent a goddamned lifetime listen to an utter berk talk bollocks, then went to training which was admittedly life affirming.  I got home about 30 minutes ago and now I'm off to bed.

Happy Birthday I guess.


  1. happy birthday and couldn't agree with your sentiments any more than I do...

  2. Aww I wanna hug you! *hug*!