C.H.A.V - A.O.K

So I've held off writing this post for a long time now, because I assumed it was a premature observation; but goddamn Koreans are chavs.  Off the bat I'll say I don't know what the dictionary definition of a chav is, but here goes my attempt at describing one:

They like to wear gold.  Lots of gold.  They hang around in same-sex groups on street corners in the middle of the night, doing very little except drinking.  They raise their children in their own image, that is to say in a terribly unhygienic manner, while making them wear horrific amounts of gold nonsense of a value roughly equal to their shoelaces, to the weight of several kilogrammes.  They like to be extremely loud and spit a lot.

(Although all Asians spit, bizarre right?  If someone said name an attribute of civilised Asia (Japan and Korea being the only first world countries, would fit this description) you would (at least I would) say they're sticklers for etiquette and manners, but they all spit.  As mentioned before - bizarre)

If this sounds like a chav, then Koreans love the whole chav lifestyle.  When I first saw this phenomenon I assumed it must simply be indicative of the island I live on, but it happens in Seoul too.  Half of the children I teach are spoiled rotten, and the spoiled ones are clad in gold.  In an interesting experiment, it is possible to see a direct correlation between killogrammes of gold attached to the child, and how obnoxious that child is.

I wouldn't be surprised if they invented that whole lifestyle, because, frankly, they have it down to an art.

So in other news, I got my grubbies on another camera.

A friend said something along the lines of, 'I love seeing how places [accommodation] evolve once you started living in them.'

To prove a point, I took a picture now, two months on from the last one, to show how drastically my room has changed.

These are the 'after,' shots, which, apart from a ton of bog roll, are entirely indistinguishable from the earlier shot:

Maybe when I get round to unpacking it'll become a house rather than a box with some stuff in.

Then again, if I've not unpacked after two months, I don't see any reason to suspect I'll unpack after ten.

The lack of 'homeliness,' is an endearing feature in itself.

Upside-down orientation, and particularly uninspiring camera angle aside, this picture adequately demonstrates the aeronautical nature of the cake I purchased on Friday.  It was to celebrate hitting 87kg and 14% body fat, which is only 3kg shy of my desirable weight and under my perfect body fat percentage.

And this is the cool artsy shout out to Paris Baguette who made this particularly delicious cake.  It cost twelve pounds, but damn, it was a tasty twelve pounds.

On a side-note, if I ever purchase my own camera, expect to see a lot more pictures of cakes.





A side-effect of insane humidity is that nothing dries.  I have had days where a cool breeze has blown through my apartment for nigh on twelve hours straight, and my clothes end up wetter than when they came out of the washing machine.  Couple this with a severe laundromat shortage, and the result is one crowded clothes rack.  Things then dry more slowly because they've not enough room to dry, and the cycle becomes self-sustaining.  If anyone knows any tips for combating this, please let me know.

This is the view from the top of my street.  My building is the tall one on  the left.  Immediately behind that is a tall hill, and behind that is the sea.  You can climb over the hill to the sea (twenty minutes) or you can walk five minutes to the ocean front.  For the first time this weekend I chose the first option, and boy, it's peaceful up there.  At a guess I would say it's two hundred metres high (the hill in the picture just keep getting steeper if you look to the left) and at the top, to my amazement, was a...  Well, keep reading and you'll find out.

A month or so ago I commented that you can see mountains (or big hills, I'm not sure what exactly differentiates mountains and hill technically speaking) from any angle, anywhere in any of the towns on the island.  This is a fact lost on all my colleagues, as they simply ignore them, or when forced to acknowledge their amazing existence, just grunt.  This being the rainy season, these mountains can often be seen disappearing behind cloud cover, wisps of which lick up the side.  Again, it's fantastic to watch, and no one acknowledges it.

To illustrate my point, the following pictures are taken around my town of Okpo, from  many different angles and vantage points, to highlight the hillbound nature of the island.

This picture is taken from the back of my block of flats.  I'm not sure what they grow on the terraces, but there is a path up to them, and I will find out one day.

It would be easy enough to ask someone I suppose...

(Oh and see what I mean by the obsession with overly large cars here?  The island is tiny, but they think they're american.  All the women also think they're on desperate housewives, but more on that in a later article.)

If anyone ever says keeping chickens is difficult, you can rest assured, it isn't.  All you need is a lot of string, the ability to play cats cradle, and the windscreen from an old pre-winding window car, of any description.  Those items and skills coupled with an old desk, and you're sorted.

There's no way of really judging scale, but those are container ships.  They're big.  That crane is also big.  Everything is big here.

If you click on the picture and view it full size, you can see a latticework of white girders onboard both ships.  Those are the guides into which the containers slide.  I don't know how many containers stack on top of each other, but from a casual observation they hold roughly seventy-five in length.  I can't begin to imagine how many that ship will hold in total.  Seventy-five times the depth, times the number it can hold in width.  That's a lot.  Each container is the size of a lorry trailer, and you see them motoring all over Europe.  That's probably not a big ship as container vessels go.  Mind explosion...

At this top of this deceptively steep hill is my gym, and another mountain.

Everyone lives in flats here, there are no houses.

This was taken from the middle of the street, but I sensibly waited until the light had turned red before stepping out.   I normally cross when the coast is clear regardless of traffic light colour, but just like Japan, the locals only cross on green.  It could be four in the morning, all the petrol on the island could have run out, and the whole place could have two people on it and both of them would still wait for the green light.

Bizarre.

The sea is a millpond here, even in bad weather.  The harbour is massive and so well protected that I'm sure it would take something monumentally devastating to get the sea level to rise here.  This is lucky, because the front door to my block of flats is probably three metres above sea level.

Local fishing boat: Check.  Massive container ship: Check.  Mountains shrouded in cloud. Check.

This pretty much sums up Okpo in one picture.

So the pictures are in no particular order now, but I wanted to (yet again) demonstrate that you're no more than a glance away from a big, cool looking hill on this island.

Ok so somehow we're back to this little fishing vessel.  Much like the chicken coop, this thing is made from bits of old house and rope that the man found lying around.

Congratulations are due for making it seaworthy.

This is one of the tall-ships on display in the harbour.

I didn't get a chance to go on-board but

Ok I kid, this is actually a zoomed in version of:

I felt compelled to take a number of pictures of this model as a particularly horrible child was playing with it.  As we all know, toys are not meant for playing with as they will inevitably break; alas no one told this kid, so I'm sure it's been turned into kindling.

A final picture of the pretty-cool-looking boat not-in-a-bottle.

It really was well made.

Another insanely steep hill that looks like nothing from the bottom, especially with a wide-angle lense.  Trust me, this hill is a demon, and it's the only way to reach the biggest town on the island, as the bus-stop is at the top of the hill.

This is a view of Okpo, from across the bay area.  yes, I know, the horizon is insanely wonky; it's surprisingly difficult to take a picture with a level horizon when you're as stupid as me.

The problem is that I always frame the picture thinking 'oh that looks cool,' with no thought as to the horizon, then when I get it back on the computer, the horizon is completely skewed.

One day I will learn... Maybe.

I like this picture because I think it gives a representative view of how much space the bay takes up, and what the town is all about.  Shipping and ship building are the primary employers of the area, and all other services are built around catering for that very industry.

This is looking out to sea.  Past the oil derricks being constructed, past the two prongs of land, is the big, wide, scary open sea.

There is a fun little walkway that takes you around the outside of the mountain I described earlier.  It's a bit rickety, but it's fun nonetheless.

The rickety walkway leads you to blown highlights and this manky little pebble beach.

This is a picture of a rock.  I don't know why I took it, but I did, so here it is.

Also notice the severe lack of a level horizon once again.

This tug was moving something big and heavy looking.  I don't know what it is, but the centre of gravity must be pretty high, let's hope he doesn't try any hand-brake turns with that badboy.

This is the view from the top of the hill behind my flat.

This is (obviously) looking out across the water, the other side was somewhat more spectacular however...

It really was this colour too.  I haven't edited any of the pictures, and this is what I saw as I poked my head over the top of the ridge.

At the top were a group of plaques dedicated to a number of different countries.  I can only imagine they're the countries either Okpo or Geoje have had dealings with in the past.

They have a similar setup along the main high-street in Gohyun, only this flag is attributed to England.  Someone took offence to this and scribbled out England with a marker pen.

This gazebo thing had a warning attached saying: Please do not use this building when severe weather warnings have been issued.

I promised myself that, should a severe weather warning be issued, I will make my way to that very spot.  If I have a camera with me, all the better.

This is my favourite picture of the top of this hill.

Interestingly, there is a free outdoor gym type place with a number of interesting machines, just underneath the ledge.  I will head back up there when I'm bored and try out some of the machines.  It's probably a twenty minutes run up the hill, and a fifteen minute run downhill, so it will be decent, free exercise.

And this is the main street into Okpo, from the very top of a large hill.  It was taken in the twilight, which is why the colours are all strange.

Here, more than ever, you can really appreciate the hilly nature of this island.  The towns are nestled among the hills, and when seen from above, are really dwarfed by the greenery.

Of course when you're inside the towns, everything is very tall, and the greenery can feel somewhat distant.  Now you've seen this picture, you know differently.

That's all for this bumper edition 151st post.

I've not had much free time to add entries lately, so hopefully this bonanza edition will make up for some lost time.

That Homely Touch

So the water is back up and running.  Luckily I remembered to turn the taps off in my room, as one of my colleagues left a couple of his taps on, forgetting that the water was due to reconnect that night.  I can't wait to see his face when the water bill comes through - it might even cost him ten pounds!  (An unthinkable figure considering my last water bill totalled roughly four pounds for the month.)

I've also finally come round to furnishing my apartment a little better.  This trip essentially amounted to buying some kitchen roll, some soap and a cloth to wipe down kitchen surfaces.  The room is already feeling a little too feminine with these additions, so I'm thinking of strategically placing beer cans about the place.

Just to let everyone know, the debate about ghosts has finally been solved:

I managed to capture it unawares and snap it.  Presumably my room will now be haunted.

A small price to pay for gathering irrefutable evidence.

This is the town of Gohyun.  It's the largest on the island, and is pretty much the epicentre of all things Geoje.  It's rained for a couple of days now; it's safe to say we're finally entering the rainy season.  This will continue for a month or so, relentlessly if the foreigners on the island are to be believed.  Personally speaking I don't buy it, as English people often talk about constant rain despite spending only two thirds of our lives sodden.

On a side-note, the rain here is pretty impressive.  When I say it rained all day yesterday and all of today, it really did rain non-stop.  Not half-assed English rain that stops and starts, it really did not stop.  At times it was heavy, at times it was weak; but it never gave up.  Kudos to Korean rain, for making me wet through.

Kudos also to Korean heat, as I never felt cold.  Sure, I weighed an extra five kilogrammes, but not once did I feel cold.

This is Gohyun as seen from the top a local department store.  I say local, but it's the only one on the island.  This may not seem like a big deal to the sane world, but having only one department store per 250,000 people is like English people having a single for the same number of people.

The mere notion of only having one department store makes grown Koreans weep, and is a driving influence for migration away from the island, and towards large cities.

They love department stores here.

The lack of alternative venues mean the youth of the island congregate in the same places every weekend, staking their own spots inside on both Saturday and Sunday; until they leave for the university on the mainland.

Who Needs Water Anyway?

So I just had some exciting news; the island is without running water for three days.  No showers, no cleaning of clothes and no toilets.

A pipe that supplies the island burst earlier today, and while I assumed the news to be a monumental wind-up on behalf of a colleague, the news was unfortunately true.  I immediately jumped to the conclusion that school would be postponed, owing to the whole no toilets and no cooking water scenario; however the school exists in its' own dimension, and while three quarters of the island is without water, the school will happily plod along with water.  How did they manage that?

It's only twenty-five degrees today, with a low humidity of seventy five to eighty percent; so I only lost five kilogrammes today.  When the weather turns hot on Friday, it will be hitting twenty-eight degrees, and the humidity will be eighty five percent plus.  That's when the lack of water will be noticeable.  It smells bad enough in my classrooms when the kids shower regularly...

On a lighter note, the teachers reactions were humorous.  One teacher flat out refused to work without a shower; presumably he (I embolden that word because, yes, it was a man acting like a woman) has accepted that there's nothing he can do about it.  Another thought it would remind him of being in the scouts.  I can't say I approve of either mentality.

So what to do.  The provisions in my room won't last me a full three days, and panic buying has already begun - I should really buy some more water and whatnot.  Then again, I'm extremely lazy.

New plan:  Go to american football training, work up a sweat, come back, wash with a two litre bottle of water and minimal shampoo/shower gel.

Good plan!

Great success!

Someone's Boots Arrived!

So I was dead excited to see that boots had arrived on my desk.

One annoyance was that a colleague had already opened my mail.  This is illegal and immoral, and he didn't even apologise for it.  I guess in america it's only illegal if someone is holding a gun and is threatening to shoot you for the tresspass you just committed.  I use biblical terms because he's supposedly Christian.

The second annoyance was quite a large one as they go; these boots aren't for me.  They're about five centimetres long, and while probably the right size for the locals of my age, are roughly twenty-five centimetres too short for me.

Somehow my friend has ordered boots for a five year old.  The match I'm supposed to play is roughly two weeks away, and it took these boots three weeks to arrive.  Assuming they replace these boots it will take three weeks for them to be returned, then another awesome three weeks for them to arrive on my doorstep.  That's six weeks of waiting, and six weeks of me not being able to play sport.

As you may be able to tell I'm livid.  I'm beyond livid.

I would dearly have loved to comment on any sports I've played, but I'll just have to stick to training.  Which isn't fun.  Yay.

Withdrawal Symptoms

So I've just realised that I've gone a month and a half without playing any computer games.

Not being able to play them is really frustrating, because a back-catalogue of stuff I really want to play is building up, and the longer I spend without the means to play these games, the more I'm going to miss.  Console games are okay, because you can pick them up whenever and wherever, but PC games are harder to play, especially online, past their selling date because fewer people play them, and no one stocks them for long.  PC gaming is in decline for sure, and aside from league of legends, around four games have come out that I can no longer find legitimate outlets for (and the illegitimate outlets won't serve them forever) and I'm gutted!  I've only just realised this because I haven't had time to sit down and do nothing lately.  What with my diseases and illnesses, I've realised that I need to get a computer (which I knew I needed anyway, in the long term) quite quickly, just for my own peace of mind, and for something to do in the interminable nights when I'm not going to the gym, or playing american football, or playing basketball... Oh wait - I don't have any time when I'm not doing something.

Anyway...  I need a computer.

In other news, my cold/man flu is getting  better, and I feel that tomorrow will herald the end of it.  Luckily the gym is closed tomorrow, so I can't do what I normally would, and thrash out the kinks in the gym - and make myself ill the very next day.

An extra day of doing not a lot squared.

Woop.

If I'm not completely cured by Monday I will give up and let the viruses win.

In entirely unrelated news; a friend of mine came up with an acronym for his workplace which is pretty cool (he's a game developer): JSTS - Just Ship That Shit - the wikipedia page will define it as meaning, 'to rush unpolished and underdeveloped software for the purpose of making money.'  Contributions welcome.

Korea Versus Argentina Then

So Korea lost against Argentina today.  I didn't preface this with a spoiler warning, because it was already a foregone conclusion.  Korea are not good at football, and they will never be.  I went down to a bar with a couple of colleagues of my own volition, (twenty minutes into the game) and also came home of my own volition, twenty minutes before the game ended.  There is no game of football in the world that can hold my interest for the full period of play.  Highlights are good, but nothing more than five minutes please.

The interesting thing was that I didn't realise it would be a worker style event, with most of the office turning up.  I wasn't going to drink anyway, on account of my myriad diseases and me badly wanting to play american football next week; but after seeing all the people you work with, at what amounts to an enforced gathering - that'll knock the party atmosphere out of anyone.

There is a Korean woman in the office who everyone, to a man, flirts with.  (I call her everyones favourite because I don't know her name yet - eg. 'Has everyones favourite been in this morning?')  They finally (after much cajoling and mild, playful, disgusting and flirtatious threatening/coercion) convinced her to watch the game with them and wouldn't you know it, another (far less attractive, (I'm tempted to say fat, but by western standards nowhere near) bitchy and obnoxious) woman joined the party somehow, and they all immediately forgot about everyones favourite, and focused their attention on the 'kind of fat but not really,' girl.  If I were everyones favourite, I would be pretty devastated and would, frankly speaking, ignore the lot of us tomorrow.

But that's not the Asian way, she will come in tomorrow and smile, laugh at the terrible jokes the five guys in the office try to make simultaneously, and enjoy being the centre of attention.  I would feel sorry for her, but I guess humanity is a fickle cauldron, and it takes all sorts of desperation to make people what we are.

On a side-note, my coughing has begun, which is good news because this is the last phase of my disease.  The guy I caught it from said this was the last part of it for him, and within two days he was completely illness free, which is cool.  What's not cool is him giving it to me in the first place, but we play basketball together, so I guess it couldn't be helped.  On a further side note, the kids are starting to get sick now, as are a couple more in the office.  You might hear about us on the news in a couple of months; I hereby name the next flu pandemic, De Roeck flu.

(It's insanely humid here, just for your information.)

(Oh and my electric bill for this month was Four pounds.  4 pounds.  4GBP)

Weather Update

19°C | °F

Current: Rain
Humidity: 96%

Thu

28°C | 19°C

Fri

27°C | 20°C

Sat

30°C | 20°C

Sun

30°C | 20°C

Check out the humidity.

Devastated

So it turns out god works in mysterious ways.

My boots didn't turn up today, and I was ready to throw in the proverbial towel; what with my illnesses and diseases.  But I persevered and went to training, only to be confronted by the mother of all outdoor screens, erected on the very pitch we were supposed to train on.

So the moral of the story is, if god doesn't want you to play american football, he'll put a forty foot TV on the pitch you're supposed to play on.

More updates to come when I have time.

Seoul Again

So I thought I would give Seoul another go, as my last attempt was surely not indicative of the city (I reasoned).  Luckily I was correct, and this time around was a lot more fun.

The pictures are low quality, get over it.

This is an electronics mall.  You know we have department stores for clothes, knick-nacks and wares seemingly no-one would need?  They have them for electronics too.  This was taken from floor four of ten, but I missed the opportunity to take a shot illustrating the scale of the place.  It's quite vast, and has some of the most incredible electronics stores I've ever seen.  The whole place is like an indoor market, with each seller having an open booth.  The effect is cool, because you can see from one side of your floor to the other.  There's one floor that houses all the computer based electronics,  and there are guys who sell legacy hardware, I saw graphics cards from ten years ago, it was a cool blast from the past.

A couple of stores had my camera on display, but wouldn't let me touch it.  It's not like Japan at all...

The Saturday was the day of Korea vs Greece, and they had a big screen set up for everyone to watch it on.

Red is the national colour of Korea.

Yeah that's a neon hot air balloon on the ceiling, this place is also an indoor theme park.

This is the cool screen they set up.  The first thing I thought when I saw  this was, 'I wonder if you could hook a PC up to this?'

Then I thought, 'You'd need a dozen graphics cards to power a display of this resolution.'

Yeah I'm a geek.

Bitchin' panda chocolate cake.  I actually ate two cakes while I was there.  This was the tastier of the two however, and is, frankly, an amazingly tasty cake.  As something of a connoisseur of cakes, I can safely say that Korean cake making abilities rank far higher than their other baking abilities.

I did however find a baguette in the shop earlier that is amazing, it's crunchy, soft and delicious, just like the real thing.  It cost 1.50, but for my first taste of real bread in a couple of months, it's worth it I feel.

Here's a bit of free advertising for them; they deserve it for making a couple of extremely delicious cakes.

The people behind the till also deserve a standing ovation, for not laughing when they saw me enter the shop for the second time in one day.





On a side note, I'm extremely ill at the moment.  My fever is extremely high, I can't stop sweating, I have a chesty, infected phlegmtastic cough, and everything aches.  My finger is still broken too.  Stupid girls making me sick.

So it's Like That, is it?

So yesterday was one of those days that turned on a sixpence.

We went to Gohyun in rush hour, which is a forty five minute bus ride, expecting to find an american football practice session.  We turned up expectantly, and so did four other people.  I'm no expert, but I think american football requires a few more than four people.

The complex we visited is enormous.  Samsung international, the people who own the complex (and the team, incidentally) are one of the biggest companies on the planet.  Their turnover would, if it were counted in world GDP, come in at number 35, ahead of Argentina.

Now that's a fact that blows my mind.  I sat there for five minutes, thinking of all the countries that have a lower GDP than this companies turnover.  It's a lot.  Samsung account for 20% of all Korean exports.  Just think about that for a second.  Koreas GDP is in the region of a trillion dollars a year, and Samsung turns over 200 billion of that.  My mind still can't quite understand it.

Anyway, these four guys turrned up and said there was no training because no one else had turned up.  I was thoroughly disheartened, and we all went to play basketball instead.  After ten minutes of me moping around being all depressed, the guys who were in the changing room came out and  started running about.  Naturally, I ran over there and started joining in; low and behold, they taught me how to play _______ .  I don't know what the position is called, but they taught me it.  It's an offensive position, and not just in nature - I have to be protected by a bodyguard, and I essentially just run forward and score touchdowns.  It's pretty restrictive as a position, because there are only a few avenues of attack, most of the pitch being taken up by fatties.  I was only in trainers, as my boots haven't arrived yet (another thing that hasn't arrived...) but I was able to skin all four of them.

One of them  was the quarter-back, one was his bodyguard, and the other was my bodyguard.  Their English wasn't great, but it seems like we're going to be a four-man unit on the pitch.  I don't know if this is how they treat all their new players, but they were extremely friendly, and were extremely positive about my chances of playing in the first game on July the third.  However, as I've realised many times before, it's important not to count your chickens.  Todays positive reception is tomorrow frosty farewell.

On a tangent, my finger is still broken, and it hurts like hell right now.  I'm going into the nurses office tomorrow to get it taped up, and when she's not looking I'm going to steal a few rolls.

I think the whole 'training' session started well, because they were jokingly try to tackle me, and I skinned all three (one had left at this point) in one attempt, and I think they realised I wasn't here just for a jolly kick around.  Remember folks, opportunity knocks around every corner, so be prepared to grab it when it comes.  The first real training session starts next Wednesday, as it will be full contact, fully padded nonsense.  I figure all I need do is score ten touchdowns to secure my place in the team.

No problem.

At least it's not as difficult as rugby.

American Football

If all goes to plan, I'll be able to play american football in a couple of hours.

Oh my god I'm so excited.

Yes, this whole post is dedicated to that fact.

Twenty Five Minutes Here, Lesson Preparation There

So I've twenty minutes before lessons start, and I'm well ahead of lesson preparation for a change.

I've still heard no word on the parcels that are supposedly arriving.  The wait is more agonising than anything Christmas can throw at you, and the end result; of me tearing open any and all wrappings, will undoubtedly be infinitely more satisfying.

I've written nothing of my daily routine, and have had some inquiries as to what I eat, and of course, whether I eat healthily enough.  So, for the edification of family, primarily, here is my daily routine breakdown:

I wake up at 7.20, to myriad alarms now dotted about my room.  I let the cacophony subside, and lie in bed until 7.30.  At this point I rise, zombiefied, and somehow make it into the shower.  Sometimes I shave, sometimes I don't.  I clean my teeth (which is stupid, as you'll see in a minute) and shower, exiting around fifteen minutes later.  If I've risen a whole, gobsmacking five minutes early, or heaven forbid, an earth-shattering ten minutes early, I'll soak up the extra time in the shower.

I'll then eat some toast, (which is why cleaning my teeth then is pointless) four slices usually, and as of late, partake of a milkshake/proteinshake.  Normally I wouldn't in the morning, but these are so freakin' nice, that I can't help myself.  I'm going through a massive tub of milk every other day at the moment.  Is there a precident for milk related death?  At this point I'm dressed, and simply load up the pockets with MP3 player, load the shoulders with my manbag, and find my keys.

I spend a number of hours at school pretending to work, as I am now.

After heading home around four thirty, I imbibe another shake and make some egg on toast, and head to the gym.  After a couple of hours there I head home or go play some basketball or football, and after that do some more work.  This usually includes marking tons of paper, or a volume of journals (the kids write in journals over the weekend) that is equal to the volume of my bag.

Dinner is made.  This usually consists of half a pepper, (any colour) an onion, a clove of garlic, a chicken breast or assorted meat product, and a ton of rice.

I then go to sleep.

And that's my schedule, in a nutshell.

けーきー

これは円香のけーきー!

すごいね！

A Story

To preface this particular article; I needed to write a story for my children using a set number of key words and phrases, because the previous test (assigned by the course content creators) has already been administered. In the few minutes I had between lunch and my next class, I wrote this. Where the idea came from is a mystery, as is the ending. Will this story have a happy ending, or will it have an ending at all? Enjoy:


A long time ago there was a man who liked to go fishing. He liked to fish early in the morning, before he went to work. He would wake up early, and walk to the river. He lived very close to the river, so it only took him a minute to walk there. He never caught any fish, even though he tried every day.

Every day at the same time, a woman would walk past with her dog. She would stand and watch him fish, while she threw sticks for the dog to catch. She would stay for five minutes every day, and then carry on walking. The man and the woman never spoke, they just stood next to each other staring into the water.

Then something very special happened. An artist heard about the pair and decided to paint them. He woke up extremely early one morning and walked down to the river, canvas and paintbrush in hand. He saw the fisherman by the river, and began painting. He had only just started when he saw the woman approaching with her dog. He began drawing faster, trying to draw the man before the woman arrived. He knew he only had five minutes to draw the woman, so he began drawing her as soon as she stood next to the fisherman.

He noticed that the woman was taller than the man, and she was a lot thinner. After five minutes the woman left, and the artist asked, ‘why does she walk along this river every day?’ The fisherman looked up but said nothing.

I've Fifteen Minutes

I've fifteen minutes until my next class, so I thought I'd write something on here.  I've been criticised for not keeping in touch lately, despite my efforts to convey just how much I've been doing.

As such, a run-down of my day today:

Woke up.  Went to work.  Am currently at work.

This may or may not be updated later - should I find the time to do so, I would rather spend it finishing work, or writing the myriad e-mails I've fallen behind on.  This will allow me a freer weekend with which I can do such things as, update this blog.

As an aside, I've not received any packages or letters, despite being sent at least two that I know of, upwards of a week ago.  I've been assured that the postal system here is expedient to a fault, but I'm struggling to see it, personally speaking.

I hope everything arrives sometimes this month.

I hope everything arrives.

(Picture an annoyed face all of your own imagining.)

What a Hectic Week

So this week has been all kinds of crazy.

First off, work is a real pain at the moment.  We have to write end of year reports for all our kids.  This is a nightmare, because each child needs a custom written report; not like England, where each kid falls into one of three pre-defined categories, each with a standard form.  I've known classmates who received identical school reports, with someone else's name and date of birth.  Each comment is bespoke, and each one requires five to ten minutes.  Multiply that by eighty or so and you see how annoying this particular task is.  It would be okay if we had fewer daily and weekly tasks to complete - but I guess there is never enough time.

My finger is officially healing in the wrong direction.  It's pointing outwards, where the same finger on the other hand is pointing inwards.  I've managed to keep the actual pain of it from my manager and co-workers, so I shan't be discouraged from playing sport by them.

On the sporting side-note, I might finally have cracked the american football conundrum.  There is a training session next Wednesday, and I've been invited along with a couple of colleagues.  It's not rugby, but beggars can't be choosers.  Plus I'll finally be able to fold some chumps and work out the inner aggression I've been barricading inside.  Who knows, maybe I'll be able to lay out some of the aforementioned colleagues too!

I made a girl in my year six cry by pronouncing her name incorrectly.  I checked, it wasn't swearing, and it wasn't rude - I just said it wrong.  If she hasn't figured out that people make mistakes by the age of twelve, I fear for her growing up.  When she steps outside of the school gates for the first time, her little head will explode.

We played a little basketball on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, and again on Wednesday this week.  Basketball is fun, but there are a couple of societal rejects who play, who score fewer than I do.  This would not normally be a problem, but they whoop and yell and shout and scream as if they were gods.  Not to mention that they hit me and push me, (past the point of it being a foul) and jump on my toes; and when I run at them with the ball they call fouls that would make a footballer blush.  They're pathetic, and must have been bullied by someone who looks like me at some stage in their lives.  I have heard that one of them plays american football though, so I will go out of my way to destroy him.  If I break both of his legs, then he can't play basketball next week and I will be much happier.

We played football with a group on Wednesday.  It was good fitness, but I'm worse than hopeless at football.  I still can't see the appeal of it, if I'm honest.  I'd play any day of the week though, I was up and down the pitch like a terrier (a mentally handicapped one, but a terrier nonetheless) and as a result have surely gained .1% lunch capacity over my previous fitness.

So basically between the gym, basketball/football and work, I've had no time to even write an entry on my blog.  (I finished at 7pm today, went to the gym but wasn't really feeling up to it and came back early.)

I'm going to finally pick up an alarm that works this weekend, if I survive tomorrow, that is.